Anticipating our return

[alt_umbridge]

Dear children,

I am sure we are all looking forward to tomorrow, and your return to school. Now, over the holidays, I've had the opportunity to arrange just a few teensy improving things, for the good of each and every one of us at darling old Hogwarts.

First, I simply must know how each and every one of you spent your time. All students must write up an essay of at least 24 inches on the theme "How I spent my holidays". These should be submitted no later than Tuesday supper, to my office or the Hogwarts Junior Council lounge. Describe in detail who you saw, what you spoke about, what you did, and any other matters of possible interest at all. Insufficient detail will be grounds for correction. Staff, you, of course, have no length requirement, but I expect the same topics will be covered in writing and submitted to me.

Second, all students are hereby obliged to cease using any protections from their personal belongings that cannot be opened by a staff member. If you are uncertain whether a particular method is appropriate, consult Professor Vector promptly on your return to school. I have questions for quite a number of you regarding such items: an appointment slip has been placed on your bed for a teensy little chat. I must know exactly which items you have with you at school, of course.

Third, we have just a few teensy new rules. Kindly copy each rule eight times - for eight is the number of perfection, dear boys and girls - and submit a copy as above.

Rule 1: I will attend all my classes, arriving promptly on time and remaining until formally dismissed by the supervising staff member.

Rule 2: I will promptly inform Headmistress Umbridge or her duly appointed representative of any expected changes to my schedule as soon as possible.

Rule 3: I will keep a detailed and thorough accurate record of how I have spent my time each and every day. Forms for doing so are available in your common rooms, and must be submitted before breakfast each Monday morning, beginning in a week.

By knowing how we spend our time, we may become more efficient, effective, and excellent in all that we do. (Staff are expected to maintain such forms as well: copies will be delivered to your offices by house-elf)

Finally, I wish to advise all students of an additional schedule requirement: you will be receiving notes assigning you to a group for mutual analysis and evaluation. These will meet weekly, and there will be neither adjustments nor exceptions.

Supper on Saturdays will be - for those dear pureblooded children among us and staff - in full formal robes. Halfbloods, present yourself in the Great Hall at 4pm, dressed suitably for your station. Please pack your trunks appropriately: failure to appear properly dressed will have consequences.

Comments

[alt_megan]

Madam Umbridge, what would be suitable for my station? If I need to get new robes, I'll have to write to my guardian right away. Only I don't want to trouble her while she's so ill not feeling quite the thing. So if it's something I can charm my current robes to look like, that would be good to know. Or maybe I can ask a classmate. Thank you. And thank you again for letting me stay over hols. I really feel that I've learned a lot. And I hope I have made myself useful, at least a little.

[alt_harry]

Madame Umbridge;

I am wondering how I ought to dress. Suitable to one's station can mean many things, after all, and I wouldn't want to misread what you've said, because from what you've written, it seems like only pureblooded students should wear formal robes.

[alt_sirius]

Why stop there? Why not require everyone to sign in and out of each classroom, common room, reading room, dormitory and bathroom in the castle?

Is this really the kind of instruction in independence, responsibility and self-control that Hogwarts tries to inculcate in its students?

And what, exactly, is the purpose behind telling your staff to adhere to similar strictures on their time? Surely you don't mean to signal that you don't trust them. After all, haven't you spent several months culling and cultivating them in equal measure?

You're relying heavily on their commitment to the students, Madam. Perhaps far too heavily.

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_sally_anne]

DRESS ROBES? How many of you (pureblooded) (and honorary pureblooded, in the case of Harry) lot even have dress robes that fit? I suppose if you're going to the wedding you've got them. And there's probably a stash of those robes Siz had made last year for the Yule Ball.....somewhere.

I hope school robes are 'suitable to my station.'