A reminder

[alt_umbridge]

Dear students,

I am most disappointed. I remind you that while you are under my care, here in Hogwarts, that you are expected to obey the direct rules and guidelines we - the adults charged with your education and proper development - set. Beyond that, you are expected to obey the spirit and essence of our instructions.

Those who have failed in this have been encouraged to avoid the problem - or anything else of the kind, I do hope that no further corrections will become necessary.

That said, I must commend the diligent attention of the Hogwarts Junior Council members in assisting all of us to consider the impact of each and every action we take.

I have a few teensy notes on other topics - I do hope those mentioned will attend to them promptly.

Comments

Private message to Wilhemina Grubby-Plank

[alt_umbridge]

Willie,
Do I understand from Nadine Rohani that your N.E.W.T. 7th year class is currently studying the Aureata beetle? I cannot imagine that I heard that correctly in the slightest.

Surely you know that they were removed from study after the unfortunate death this summer of Midas Wellspring, who suffered an untimely bite. I can’t imagine that you would be so insensitive, careless, and incompetent as to allow students that kind of access.

Now, Miss Rohani did say something about you providing something of a warning, but from how she explained her concerns to me, clearly it was not enough. Kindly present yourself to my office first thing tomorrow morning so that we can rearrange the remainder of your curriculum for the year. I will require evidence of any creatures you believe to be covered in the exams themselves, with current and explicit documentation.

After all, we are here to protect, polish, and prepare our students - but exposing them to a slow and painful transmutation into gold is simply not what I have in mind with that statement.

Private message to Aurora Sinistra

[alt_umbridge]

Sizzie,

I’ve had a word with dear Luxovius. Now that he’s had a chance to settle in and rearrange the Infirmary to his liking, I expect you to make time for a weekly appointment with him. You may arrange it at his convenience - the students come first, of course - but I have asked him to check you weekly to ensure that the regrettable and ill-timed suspicion I raised last week has not, in fact, come to pass.

I trust I need not explicate the consequences should you decline to cooperate.

I also note you have not been nearly as cheerfully present at meals as I expect of each and every member of the staff. It is just so important, dear, to model the best possible behaviour to our students. As Quercus Edmonds said, “It is simply a matter of welcoming these changed circumstances as a method of bringing ourselves into alignment with the truest, most refined selves, advised by our trusted elders.”

I know you can’t always see it, dear, but I do see the splendid woman you could become if only you were helped to it.

Private message to Pomona Sprout and Neville Longbottom

[alt_umbridge]

Mr Longbottom -

Having reviewed your most recent revisions, I believe we can begin to prepare orders for your necessary plantings. Please work as promptly as possible to determine the best suppliers (keeping cost firmly in mind) for those items needed from outside Hogwarts.

Pomona, dear, do review Mr Longbottom’s work as quickly as you can. Thanks to that diligent young Mr Moon, I’ve nearly all the information we need for the actual memorial itself, so I would like to proceed in a timely fashion.

Re: Private message to Pomona Sprout and Neville Longbottom

[alt_neville]

It is the wrong time of year to order a number of the plants in the design, I am afraid. Some must be started from seed, and it's a bit late to start those, and some of the shrubs and all of the bulbs do best if planted in the autumn.

But we can probably plant about three-quarters of the planned design. Professor Sprout and I can give you the list.

Private message to Luxovius Kerr

[alt_umbridge]

Luxovius,

As you might gather from above, I have now instructed Aurora to come and make an appointment with you as we discussed. Please let me know if she does not do so by Wednesday. And of course, should you have the least evidence that she is going against my express instructions to avoid any private or intimate contact with her fiance, I know you’ll tell me at once.

In addition, I would like to see you at your earliest convenience. Poppy had been attempting to treat me for a persistent problem - my ankles simply will not stop itching. I’m sure you must have some vastly improved method for resolving the problem. Poppy has some notes somewhere about the problem, I’d hope, but perhaps you have a much more effective approach than the trifling things she attempted.

Tomorrow morning, before breakfast?

[alt_sirius]

Well, Erebus, Dolores, I do so hate to think of you being disappointed. Maybe if your rules weren't so ridiculous and cruel, they'd have an easier time following not only the letter but the spirit in which they are intended.

Children, best get used to starving, failing exams and being unable to seek adequate medimagical attention when needed. It seems you'll be getting a teensy bit less out of a Hogwarts' education for the foreseeable future.

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

'Erebus, Dolores, you're the most ridiculous bint in wizardom. How'd'you get to be such a (w)itch? Did your mum not like you, either?'

At least someone out there knows how bad it is in here.